Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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