There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
