we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
