I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
