Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
