Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
