Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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