dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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