did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
