Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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