she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
