Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
