For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
