so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
