They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She bit a glass in half.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
