two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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