I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
one might say we're banned from that church
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Randomize
