He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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