Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
