like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
my sisters under your porch take her home
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
