I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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