I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
