They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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