I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
