so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
