if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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