I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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