i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Panties = found
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