Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just pee around me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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