Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
4 words: hood of his car
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
