turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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