420 ftw
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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