So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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