Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
