well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
