Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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