chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
