I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
