The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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