i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
