Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
