he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
