no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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