Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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