and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
