its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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