Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
