I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
