So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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