How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
