It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
