guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
