are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
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