don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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