Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
