he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
