i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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