omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
