Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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