Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
