There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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