mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
