How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
