you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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